Attorney-Enhanced Coercive Control: Calling on the ABA to Protect Children Across All Courts

Last week, the American Bar Association (ABA) issued a statement expressing "grave concerns" about the federal government's abrupt decision to terminate most funding for legal services provided to unaccompanied children. This program had supported representation for many vulnerable minors navigating complex court proceedings. The ABA rightly emphasized that no child should face court systems without counsel, as it safeguards due process, protects against further harm, and ensures fairer outcomes.

As a survivor and advocate for protective parents, I wholeheartedly share the ABA's alarm. No child, regardless of circumstance, should have their future jeopardized by a lack of legal representation. 

Yet this statement prompts a deeper reflection: Where has this urgent concern been for the countless children whose lives are shattered within our domestic family court systems? Children in custody disputes, particularly those involving allegations of domestic violence/coercive control, are routinely under-represented or misrepresented. This is not a new crisis.

I know this firsthand. I have listened to the heart-wrenching stories of hundreds (perhaps thousands) of protective mothers in the United States and abroad. These women, often survivors of abuse themselves, fight desperately to shield their children from harm, only to find the system stacked against them.

The family court crisis is well-documented: Protective mothers who raise credible concerns about abuse frequently lose custody, with studies showing that courts believe their allegations only about 39% of the time, according to the Meier Study. Children are routinely placed in the custody or unsupervised contact with an abusive parent due to flawed court decisions. Officers of the court (judges, guardians ad litem, evaluators, and attorneys) too often lack training in the dynamics of domestic violence, including the insidious patterns of coercive control. This results in protective behaviors being mislabeled as "hostility" or "alienation," while abusers exploit the system to extend their domination post-separation.

I coined the term Attorney-Enhanced Coercive Control to highlight a particularly egregious betrayal: when trusted legal professionals/officers of the Court/wittingly collude with perpetrators. This can manifest through endless litigation that drains resources, false portrayals of survivors as unstable, as liars, frauds, etc. Such tactics not only prolong trauma but weaponize the justice system itself against victims.

This moment is not just a point of hypocrisy; it is an opportunity. An opportunity for the ABA, state bars, and the broader legal community to expand their advocacy inward - to confront systemic failures in family courts with the same vigor applied to immigration issues. We must collaborate on reforms: mandatory training on coercive control for all court professionals, evidence-based evaluations that prioritize child safety, and policies that presume harm when patterns of abuse are established.

Together, we can repair our justice system across the board, ensuring it truly serves its intended purpose: protecting the most vulnerable (women and children) from harm. Let us create a more compassionate framework that reflects our shared values of due process, equity, and humanity.

- Kaitlyn