The Dark Side of the Holiday Season: How Some Family Law Attorneys Profit from Broken Families

It’s December. Twinkling lights, carols on the radio, children writing letters to Santa. For most people, the holidays are about warmth, generosity, and making memories with the people we love.

But for far too many protective mothers and children fleeing coercive control, this season is a cruel reminder of what has been stolen from them, namely safety, stability and security.

While abused women scrape together every penny for rent, groceries, and a few gifts, certain Family Law Attorneys are raking in tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of dollars by engaging in Attorney-enhanced Coercive Control, as they aid Perpetrating Fathers, who dodge child support, violate existing court orders and prolong litigation with the intent of draining the very resources meant to feed, clothe, and shelter their children.

These are not the Attorneys who advocate for their clients when it’s genuinely in a child’s best interest. These are the ones who knowingly, and brazenly, weaponize The Family Court System on behalf of Perpetrators: filing frivolous motions, committing perjury, coaching their clients to lie, cheat and steal, all while crying “parental alienation” the moment the Protective Mother tries to protect herself/her children. Every hour billed, every frivolous motion filed, is another dollar transferred from a child’s future into the Attorney’s pocket.

That $10,000 retainer?

That $700-an-hour billing rate?

Those “emergency” motions filed on December 23rd, guaranteeing no Judge will rule before January?

That money could have bought:

• Winter coats, boots, and a real Christmas dinner.
• Therapy for a child who flinches at loud noises because “Daddy gets mad sometimes.”
• Braces, school supplies, and the start of a college fund - basic things every child deserves.

These are things these same Attorneys proudly give their own children every December, paid for with fees extracted from the very Mothers and children they help keep destitute.

One family gets the magic of Christmas morning. The other gets empty promises and another court date in January. That’s not advocacy. That’s Abuse by Proxy, insulated by a law degree.

Let's be clear: the primary responsibility lies with the Perpetrating Father who chooses to abandon, control, and terrorize his family rather than support them. But! The Attorneys who knowingly take these cases, who perfect the art of distracting, distorting and delaying matters, those who teach perpetrators how to manipulate a flawed system - they are not neutral or “tough advocates.” They are enablers. Abusers. Frauds. Grifters. The are active participants in the continued abuse of women and children.

Our Family Courts were created to protect the vulnerable. When Attorneys treat the suffering of children as a lucrative business model, they defile everything the justice system is supposed to stand for.

This Holiday Season, while some Attorneys hang wreaths on their office doors and toast to another six-figure year (some Attorneys even earn that at the public's expense), remember the mothers/children who go without. Remember every extra dollar that was bled out of them in legal fees. Remember the children who will fall asleep on Christmas Eve, wondering why Daddy doesn’t love them enough to keep them warm and safe.

And, if you know one of these Attorneys - the ones who brag about getting the Mother “right where he wanted her” and who "win" their cases by lying, cheating, stealing and starving children of support - ask them how they sleep at night with all that blood money under their tree. Because some stockings this year will be empty, and the people who filled their own pockets making sure of it should never be allowed to forget it.

Disclaimer: 

I believe Attorneys deserve to earn a good living. Family Law is grueling work that exacts a heavy toll on the mind, body, and spirit; generous compensation for skilled, ethical advocacy is not the issue here, and I do not begrudge any lawyer the ability to provide comfortably for their own family.

What I condemn is not income; it is the choice of how that income is earned.

When an Attorney knowingly uses their expertise and the justice system to aid documented abusers evade responsibility, prolong harm, and financially devastate protective parents and vulnerable children, they cross from advocacy into active harm. Ethics matter. In the context of domestic abuse and child endangerment, no one should build their livelihood by facilitating the further abuse of women and children.

Good attorneys (those who fight honorably, who protect the disadvantaged, who refuse to weaponize the court against victims) are indispensable. This piece is aimed only at those who choose the opposite path, particularly those that pose as "domestic violence" and "community" advocates. They are wolves in sheep's clothing.