Misplacing Blame on VA Services Ignores Post-Separation Abuse, The Family Court Crisis and Accountability

An op-ed by Kaitlyn Jorgensen:

The horrific murders of Olivia, Evelyn, and Paityn Decker in Chelan County, Washington, have left a mother, Whitney Decker, and her family/community shattered. Whitney has publicly pointed to the United States Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) system’s failure to provide mental health care for her ex-husband, 33 year old, Travis Decker, the alleged Perpetrator, as the cause of her daughters’ deaths.

This narrative is not only misleading but dangerous. By fixating on the VA, Whitney and her Attorney, Arianna Cozart, deflect accountability from Travis Decker’s abusive behavior/choices. This narrative also disregards delayed disclosures, which could have contributed to the lack of protection the children had, ultimately contributing to their deaths. To be clear: mental health issues do not excuse homicide or abuse, and the misplaced sympathy for Travis has come at the expense of justice for his victims - his own flesh and blood, his young daughters.

The Peril of Excusing Abuse

Whitney Decker’s claim, amplified by Attorney Cozart, that “the lack of military services for veterans killed her children” irresponsibly shifts blame from Travis Decker’s deliberate actions/choices. Court documents reveal that Travis, a Veteran, was ordered to undergo psychiatric and domestic violence evaluations as part of a September 2024 parenting plan approved by Judge Robert Jourdan. This plan failed to "balance" the children’s safety, with their relationship to their Father, and disregarded the fact that Travis was (allegedly) homeless and that the children had repeatedly returned to their Mother in bad shape.

It must be noted that Travis’s willful failure to comply with these mandates was not merely a byproduct of inadequate VA services, as Attorney Cozart suggests, but a continuation of his abusive conduct, characterized by defiance, entitlement and a need for control. Whitney’s delay in reporting Travis’s abuse (until two years into their proceedings) delayed judicial intervention, leaving the children vulnerable to a known Perpetrator. Why are we disregarding this very important component to this story?

Blaming the VA exclusively ignores Travis’s history of domestic abuse and post-separation abuse, where he seemingly exploited custody arrangements to maintain power over Whitney and the children. By framing Travis as a victim of a "broken" system, Whitney, Attorney Cozart and others, minimize the choices that led Travis to (allegedly) committing acts of homicide. This narrative only absolves Travis of guilt, which is inappropriate.

Responsibility to Report

I believe that the delayed reporting around the domestic abuse - which I am confident was driven by a justifiable sense of fear, a desperate hope for change, and/or a reluctance to escalate conflict - limited the Court’s ability to act decisively. This inaction allowed Travis to maintain unsupervised access to the children, despite his non-compliance with court-ordered evaluations. 

Mental Health Does Not Excuse Homicide or Abuse

Mental health struggles warrant compassion, but they do not absolve anyone of responsibility. The American Psychological Association notes that only a small fraction of violent crimes are committed by individuals with serious mental illnesses, often tied to factors like substance abuse or non-compliance with treatment. Travis’s willful failure to comply with court-ordered evaluations suggests a deliberate choice to reject support, whether from the VA or alternative providers. His actions reflect commonly deployed post-separation abuse tactics - defiance, control, and manipulation - rather than an inevitable outcome of untreated mental health issues.

The sympathy afforded to Travis, evident in Attorney Cozart’s¹ focus on his isolation and self-worth struggles - comes at the expense of his victims. Olivia, Evelyn, and Paityn were not collateral damage of a broken VA system; they were victims of their father’s choices. They suffered an untimely death, they suffered mentally, emotionally and physically, as a result of these choices. 

Framing mental health as the primary cause perpetuates a harmful narrative that those with mental illnesses are inherently dangerous, stigmatizing millions while excusing Perpetrating Fathers for their violent actions.

Attorney Cozart’s advocacy efforts here prioritize Travis and his (alleged) struggles, over the urgent need to hold him accountable for his abusive and violent actions.

A Failure of Advocacy

When Travis did not comply with court-ordered evaluations, Attorney Cozart could have demanded immediate action, in my opinion. Could Attorney Cozart have urged Whitney to ask the Court for access to be suspended? Could Attorney Cozart have asked the Court for supervised access only? Rep. Brian Burnett noted a “degradation of [Travis’s] mental health” in court documents, indicating Whitney had raised concerns. Attorney Cozart’s decision to continue to emphasize systemic issues over Travis’s abuse and (even delayed reporting) allowed a narrative of victimhood to overshadow everything else. Effective advocacy would have centered the girls’ protection and called out Travis’s post-separation abuse, not redirected blame to the VA, after the fact.

Family Courts and the Burden on Protective Mothers

The Decker case² exposes systemic flaws in Family Courts and the challenges Protective Mothers face in navigating them. Family Courts often grant Perpetrators undue leeway, prioritizing paternal rights over child safety. Washington’s House Bill 1620 (2025) aimed to strengthen protections but has been criticized for excessive judicial discretion, weakening safeguards for abuse survivors. In Travis’s case, the Court’s focus on his mental health, rather than his abuse, reflects this bias. Delayed reporting may have compounded the issue, limiting the Court’s response.

The Daily Chronicle reported that House Bill 1620, passed in Washington’s 2025 legislative session, aimed to strengthen child protections but has been criticized for granting excessive judicial discretion, potentially undermining safeguards for abuse survivors. In Travis’s case, the Court’s focus on his mental health and parental rights, rather than his abusive behavior, reflects a broader issue: Family Courts frequently prioritize Fathers’ interests over the immediate safety of children. Whitney’s delayed reporting compounded this, as the Court seemingly lacked critical information to act sooner. This failure highlights the need for Courts to treat abuse allegations with urgency and prioritize child protection over maintaining parental relationships with Perpetrators.

Training Attorneys to Recognize Post-Separation Abuse

The Decker case also underscores the urgent need to train Attorneys to recognize post-separation abuse as a distinct issue, rather than conflating it with mental health challenges. Too often, Attorneys misattribute abusive behaviors - such as non-compliance with court orders or custody manipulation - to mental health issues, excusing Perpetrators and overlooking Coercive Control. Training programs should include:

• Education on Post-Separation Abuse Dynamics: Drawing from research like The Meier Study (2020), Attorneys must learn to identify tactics like vexatious litigation, emotional manipulation, and defiance of court mandates as forms of Coercive Control, not symptoms of mental illness.

• Trauma-Informed Advocacy: Training should emphasize trauma-informed approaches, teaching Attorneys to recognize how fear or coercion may delay reporting, as in Whitney’s case, and to support Clients in overcoming these barriers.

• Courtroom Strategies: Attorneys need skills to present evidence of post-separation abuse effectively, countering defense tactics that exploit mental health narratives to discredit survivors, as discussed in my prior conversations about Coercive Control tactics in Court (April 24, 2025).

• Collaboration with Advocates: Partnering with Survivors themselves, and their Advocates, can equip Attorneys to better navigate cases involving abusE.

Such training would equip Attorneys to advocate for Protective Mothers, secure supervised access, and prevent narratives like Attorney Cozart’s from undermining justice nationwide.

Moving Forward: Accountability Over Excuses

Whitney Decker’s grief is unimaginable, but the continued, repeated and prolonged focus on "VA failures" amplified by Attorney Cozart, dilutes the urgency of addressing Travis’s abuse. Mental health struggles do not excuse homicide or domestic violence, and the sympathy directed toward Travis has overshadowed the need for justice on the behalf of Olivia, Evelyn, and Paityn, and abused children everywhere.

This tragedy demands reform: stronger family court/attorney efforts against post-separation abuse, and a cultural shift away from sympathizing with Perpetrating Fathers, at the expense of their victims. Above all, it requires holding individuals like Travis Decker accountable for their choices and it requires urging Mothers like Whitney to move forward, with their children at the front and center. It requires that Mothers have the ability to make disclosures safely and in environments where child-safety is at the forefront. Olivia, Evelyn, and Paityn deserved a system that encouraged and prioritized their lives over their Father’s alleged struggles. Their losses demand not just grief, but action to ensure no other child suffers the same fate. 

References: 

1.a.  “He was struggling with isolation,” Cozart said. https://www.wwnytv.com/2025/06/05/attorney-mom-3-girls-allegedly-killed-by-their-dad-shares-details-about-his-mental-health-veteran/

1.b. “A lot of people don't realize that Travis was actually a very loving father. There was never any sort of violence or mistreatment of the girls" https://www.facebook.com/thecentraliachronicle/posts/attorney-arianna-cozart-who-represents-the-deceased-girls-mother-whitney-decker-/1271084425020359/ 

2.) "Court documents have shed light on the custody battle between Travis and Whitney Decker, before the death of their three daughters revealing a history of "instability and emotional challenges" https://www.nbcrightnow.com/news/court-documents-reveal-struggles-in-decker-family-before-death-of-3-wenatchee-girls/article_9d04de83-5150-5a27-9ea9-815a53484d5c.html

 

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